Wasted Youth

This blog post is entirely about me. Hello world and welcome to the age of the Millennial, a time where I feel entitled, nay, obligated to post ceaselessly about the happenings of my life because social media enables and encourages me to do so. So, as a fair warning, this post will be excessively egocentric. This is your chance to close your browser and wander away Scott Kayla-free. Go on; go about living your life without filling your mind with the superfluous details of mine. It’s okay. I understand. In fact, I applaud it.

You’re still here? That, my friends, was reverse psychology. Impressive, I know. I’ve been a declared psych major for about a semester now, I know a thing or two.

This post is still shamelessly self-centered, mind you, but I would actually like you to read it. Hey. Thanks for being here.

What’s the big hullabaloo? I turned 21 yesterday! And you know what that means! Evidently being able to legally consume alcohol coincides with the time in which society considers me the most “adult” I’ll be until I get married or cash out my 401 K, whichever happens first. Either way, I currently feel validated as an adult human and feel the need to share some things with you.

First of all, I had the greatest birthday in the history of all birthdays. I was completely overwhelmed by the kindness shown to me by my friends, family, and even a handful of strangers. I cried four times yesterday. Four! Not in a Lesley Gore, “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to” way, either. It was more of a, “I am so overwhelmed by the love I am feeling I am going to cry about it” way. So thank you, people who made that possible, you’re wonderful and I have no idea how I got lucky enough to know any of you. I also have no idea how to properly express just how much you all mean to me, but thank you for making my birthday (and life in general) so darn nice.

I spent most of my birthday saying “What? What is happening? How? What? Everybody is so nice. I’m going to cry.” I got so many hugs. And, Manny the Bartender surprised me with a plate of celebratory cookies complete with a birthday candle. I looked more or less like this:

Now that I’m 21 I can officially boast about how sickeningly sage I am. Sage enough to use Thesaurus.com to determine “sage” as a suitable synonym for “wise.” Without further ado, here are some things you must all accept as incontestable truths because I am 21 and therefore teeming with downright novel bits of life advice and wisdom:

1. Those six additional minutes of snooze-button-sleep are always more important than eating breakfast.
2. Running around the house every morning in an effort to make breakfast despite sleeping for six additional minutes is more important than making sure you haven’t accidentally put your shirt on inside out. Do you know nothing? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
3. Make sure you look your best before leaving the house; a confident you is a successful you.
4. Never give contradictory advice.
5. Pick your friends based solely on outward appearances and if they have access to beachfront property-everybody knows life is about the number of likes you get on Instagram rather than the possibility of sharing an authentic human experience with people you love.
6. Spend more time looking at your phone.
7. Never make satirical lists of advice.

All jokes aside, after 21 years of life my “wisdom” is simple:

Eat chocolate, laugh often, and above all, be kind.

I love all of you, thank you for living this life with me!

Here are some photos I have not yet had the chance to share: