“Social Norms”

I don’t know how to human. I just don’t. Twenty-one and a half years of humaning later and still I have no idea how to react in a “normal” way to just about anything. My abundance of feelings makes me … Continued

Tall Order

I’m in a pub in Dublin. BadBobs Temple Bar, to be specific. It’s Saturday. We had been here a few nights previously on a Wednesday and were welcomed to the city by a beautiful man playing even more beautiful music … Continued

Supposed Stripper

What’s that? New blog post, you say? No… “We must be mistaken,” you cry in disbelief, for you had given up hope on the promise of an update from my side of the world eons ago. I had abandoned you, … Continued

This Is How We Grow

(Dedicated to those who have returned home) Imagine this: you fly halfway across the world to live in a beautiful foreign country where you don’t speak the language. You’re intentionally uncomfortable. You signed up for this. You’re lost. You need … Continued

Like a freshly cut tree….

….this post is pretty sappy.   Ayyyyy   I’m never branching out into different types of humor. I think I’ll stick to tree puns. I’ll never leaf my old ways. I’m rooted in wordplay. Wood you like me to get … Continued

No, Not The Rolling Stones Song

The following post has been approved for appropriate audiences by the kpennyforyourthoughts association of America, Inc. FADE IN FROM BLACK TO A TINY ITALIAN KITCHEN DRAMATIC VOICEOVER ENSUES NARRATOR: In a world…. Without brown sugar…. CAMERA PANS ACROSS SMALL ITALIAN … Continued


I whisper the name with squinted eyes and furrowed brow into the void of a lightless room. My head nods laterally, dense with disapproval for his entire being. “Scum,” I conclude, internally, “smug, swindling swine.” The simple thought of his … Continued

John Mayer Knows All

Hello, world. Okay, maybe not “world,” that’s a bit pretentious. Realistically it’s more like “hello, approximately seventeen people who read my blog,” and that’s nice too. Welcome friends! How ‘bout that ride in? ….I’m stalling. Hey Kayla that’s strange, why … Continued

Street Smart

There’s a reason people say, “Slow down, Mario,” and by “people” I mean my mom. I sincerely have no idea if other people say that. She also says “butt naked” instead of “buck naked,” so I’m not sure if she’s … Continued

The Pros and Cons of Failure

  THREE HOURS AFTER   Time: 2:37 am. Place: Bracciano, Italy. The night is heavy with backpacking packs and regret. With four hours until the first morning train back to Viterbo the tracks are laughably useless. I offer them purpose … Continued

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